In the quilt of life, moments of joy and triumph are woven, but it is the struggles in life that often define the threads that shape our journey.
If you could go back 5, 10 years or so, what life lessons would you share with your younger self? I used to hate this question because I feels like a waste of time especially since time-travel is not even possible (yet?). However, when struggles in life keep circling back like a merry-go-round, you start to rethink some things.
What Would You Tell Your Younger Self?
At first glance, this is one of those annoying “wHaT wOuLd YoU dO” questions. And at least one person says something like they’d give their younger self the idea for Amazon or Google. So, they’d make a lot of moolah and be rich in the future.
Maybe that’s a good plan if you could actually time travel.
But, seriously, as I’ve gotten older, I realize this is actually a good question to consider. It forces you to remember your past struggles and think on you learned from them.
No one wants to dwell on their struggles in life, I get that. But self-reflection reveals opportunities to grow.
If you want to be at your best, you are required to thoughtfully reflect on your past, so you know how to engage the future. It’s tough and requires some courage.
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Nonetheless, this is far better than the alternative, which is being stuck in an endless loop of being the same as what you are right now.
Never growing
No progression
Only remaining stagnant.
Gross.
Struggles in life do not define you nor your future. My dad always told me growing up that you have to use life’s stumbling blocks as your steppingstones. Always taking steps toward greater.
It’s easier said than done, but it is achievable.
Here’s my biggest steppingstones from struggles in life:
1. Find and Accept Yourself
I know it sounds cliché, but hear me out. Knowing yourself is extremely important.
People will spend their whole lives trying to change you for their own agenda. I can tell you from experience,
You will be miserable if you spend your life trying to fit in with someone else’s expectations….being something you’re not.
Finding yourself will help you gain a deeper understanding of who you are, what your values, beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, and desires are. It also allows for personal growth and development.
Because you are then able to identify areas for improvement, challenge any limiting beliefs, and develop new skills and perspectives. You set healthy boundaries within yourself, of what you will and will not tolerate.
When you know what truly matters to you, you can pursue meaningful goals and experiences that bring you joy and satisfaction.
Remember that this is a unique and personal journey. Best get a start on it now.
2. Choose Your Circle Wisely
Have you ever heard the saying everyone isn’t your friend? Well, it’s true. There are people that make friendships for soley personal gain.
We don’t get to choose our family, but we can choose the friends and close relationships we surround ourselves with.
The company you keep can influence your thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes. Good quality friends can inspire and motivate you to become a better version of yourself.
They give you tough love, when necessary.
They support your dreams and aspirations even if they don’t completely understand it.
They can challenge your assumptions, promote personal growth, and expand your horizons.
But, remember, a good quality friendship is mutually beneficial. It’s important to be a good friend, yourself, by being supportive, trustworthy, and understanding.
3. Be Intentional with Your Life. Stop Complaining and Take Action!
Being intentional means you are taking deliberate steps towards your goals, dreams, and aspirations.
Venting and complaining is natural and sometimes necessary to clear your head. The problem comes when you spend all of your time complaining and none of it taking any action.
There are things in life that are completely out of our control, but something can be done about the things that are well within our control.
Consider what brings you joy, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose. Reflecting on your priorities helps you make intentional choices that align with your values.
Stay in the loop!
Instead of focusing on your struggles in life, remember intentionality requires taking action. Break your goals into smaller, manageable steps and consistently work towards them.
Along the way, regularly reassess and adjust your actions and choices as you gain new insights and evolve.
Being intentional is an ongoing process. Embrace the journey and be kind to yourself along the way.
4. Count Your Wins, No Matter How Small
Each time you succeed, achieve, or anything positive happens, keep track of it.
By intentionally noting and reflecting on positive things, you train your mind to notice and appreciate the good things, no matter how small, which can improve your overall outlook and happiness.
This will shift your perspective to an optimistic outlook as you embrace life’s experiences.
Maintaining this positive frame of mind will help you focus on the good things you experience, even while going through struggles in life.
5. Give yourself a little grace
Listen up my fellow perfectionists, do not be so harsh on yourself.
Self-criticism is a useful tool, but being excessively critical over every mistake, misstep or a lapse in judgement is not productive.
Practicing self-compassion is important for your overall well-being and personal growth.
In place of being overly self-critical or judgmental, giving yourself grace allows you to respond to setbacks and failures with understanding and a growth-oriented mindset.
You are not perfect, nor will you ever be.
You are human.
You are allowed to make mistakes, misjudge and have moments where you make poor choices.
Grace encourages you to learn from experiences and bounce back stronger.
All in all, grace is the ability to take a hard step back, understand you can’t escape human error, learn from your experiences, and do your best each day.
6. Take Care of Yourself
This looks different for everyone, whether it’s going on a bike ride, taking a spa day or sitting at home watching your favorite movies.
Prioritize checking on and caring for yourself, physically and mentally. The simple things like keeping up with personal hygiene and regularly cleaning your living space can go a long way when managing struggles in life.
And don’t forget to allow your mind to rest when you are physically resting.
Sometimes, I feel like my mind is running 100 miles an hour and it won’t stop.
But if you’re body is resting, and your mind is running, you’re not getting the benefits you seek and will still feel exhausted at the end of the day.
You have to create healthy self-care habits and stick to them. Taking care of our mental health allows us to better handle challenges, maintain healthy relationships, and experience greater life satisfaction.
NASCAR drivers make regular pit stops to switch out tires, refuel and make repairs or adjustments on their cars during their race.
It’s the same concept with you.
When we prioritize self-care, we recharge ourselves physically and mentally. This leads to increased productivity, creativity, and focus in our work and daily activities.
Self care = life’s pit stop.
Final Thoughts
If you read my Tell All, you know that I am on a mission to experience a life that is fulfilled, joyful and prosperous. As I approach my 30th birthday, I’ve been reflecting on the main life lessons I learned since I became an adult.
I want to enter my THRIVING THIRTIES (yes, that’s what I’m calling them) happy and carefree, but mature and wise, equipped with the knowledge and experience I‘ve gained. The only way to do that is to thoughtfully reflect and self-examine.
By no means am I an expert or a pro. I’m just like you and struggle each and every day. But I’ll tell you one thing, I will not make the same mistakes I made in my 20s.
I hope these steppingstones are just as helpful for you as they are for me.
So now that I’ve shared mine, what are of some your steppingstones? Comment Below!
Thank you for joining me on this journey into the Evrything Unknown.
Until next time,
Banana 💛
Achieve. Succeed. Flourish.
